Dear Miss April,
In regard to premarital sex, I quite like it and I have it often.
In your opinion what is the best kind?
Yours respectfully
Frequent Fornicator
Dear Frequent Fornicator
I understand that my old-fashioned sensibilities may incite a few surreptitiously stifled giggles in this enlightened age. But I am well aware that the world has changed somewhat since my girlhood days, and the answers to social mores are no longer found within the pages of Ms Austen. However, I pride myself in stepping out of my comfort zone when tackling the range of problems and requests for advice throughout the course of my vocation.
Mr F., if I may be so bold as to assume gender. My opinion as to what is the best kind of premarital sex, calling upon logic and reason, I would say, that kind between two unmarried people.
I would go further and offer this advice. If you are so pleased with your current status I suggest you remain unmarried, thereby ensuring whenever you are so graced by a lover’s attention and their intimate embrace, you can be content in the knowledge that it is of your most favoured kind.
Be well and true,
yours in good faith,
Miss April
Heed Miss April’s Advice!
